Eva’s husband, Franklin, always looks on the bright side of parenthood, and interprets Kevin’s action in the most favorable light possible. Do you find this eagerness to give his own child a break sympathetic? Or is he an ignorant parent?
We Need to Talk about Kevin
This blog has been created to serve as an open platform to discuss We Need to Talk about Kevin. Share your thoughts about both the book by Lionel Shriver and the upcoming film starring Tilda Swinton, in cinemas November 17. Eva Khatchadourian recounts the story of how her son, Kevin ends up committing an unimaginable act. Fearing that her own shortcomings may have shaped what her son became, she questions her role as a mother and her relationship with Kevin in particular. How much is her fault? When did it all start to go wrong? Or was it, in fact, ever ‘right’ at all?
We Need to Talk about Kevin 
Ignorant parenting is when you have parents who simply remove any real life context from their child’s actions. You may not punish your child for doing something wrong, but what is often a better strategy is to discuss with them what they did, what it means and why they should possibly not do it in the future.
I think Franklin’s character, from what little I’ve seen in the trailer, is a polar opposite to Eva, but only to provide conflict. Applying the film, like most fictional texts, should only be applied to a thematic analysis and not any real world issues, possibly excluding documentaries.
I struggled with how realistic Franklin was with regards to his parenting style. That he could be so dismissive and unsupportive of his wife on so many occasions, particularly when he could see and hear the way Kevin spoke to her in his presence. Not to mention how he could so easily blame everyone, especially Eva for every little thing, but not once blamed Kevin, instead preferring to find something good in whatever strange thing had happened. I think this is a sign of some underlying issue from his own childhood and his desperate desire to have a child that would fit his illusions of a perfect family. It’s almost like he over-compensated when it was clear that perfect family didn’t exist.
I am reminded of how my ex was in denial that our child had special needs, even up until high school, and then did so reluctantly. And while my son is nowhere near to being a sociopath, he is a different flavor, enough so, that his ways and actions are unexpected and out of the norm. What I saw with his father was an unwillingness to recognize his differences and needs as that would entail his taking on more responsibility (such as helping ensure our son received proper education, support services, accommodations, etc.) It was far easier for him to believe in the child he wanted, to create a fake picture of the son he wanted, or to disconnect and not be available. Most families with kids of special needs go through a “grieving process for the loss of the perfect child” once they can no longer deny the situation or condition.
In terms of Franklin’s dynamics with Eva, he may have had some underlying reason for being oppositional to her stance. Perhaps it was an easier choice for him to blame her instead of the son. Perhaps it was as simple as male identification.Would Franklin have continued to be in denial after the incident, or would he have had to face facts?
The author’s viewpoint is that Eva understood Kevin better as she had a bit of coldness and selfishness in herself.
I think the clues were there from before Kevin’s birth – remember Franklin’s deep resentment against Eva when she was able to go away for three months without falling apart? He told her that he couldn’t have done that and, although he insisted that he wasn’t judging her, he clearly resented her independence. When Kevin comes along, Franklin has the perfect means of belittling her, making her think she was mad, criticising her for being cold. His resentment against his wife – he clearly had retrograde about gender roles and identities – blossomed when he started to take Kevin’s side. Once he had started, he wasn’t brave enough to admit he was wrong all along. His resentment towards Celia was inexcusable – for me, Franklin was more to blame than Eva, who at least tried to fathom her son and see him in a true light,